Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
