I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
