i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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