Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
