I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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