she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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