i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
