just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
