I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize