Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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