YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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