Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize