I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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