He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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