apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
