I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize