He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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