the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
