Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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