We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
