their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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