If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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