I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
