i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
