did you get engaged???
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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