I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
