I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
