i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
