When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
