So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
