Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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