i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
