It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
