yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
