So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
