no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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