Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
