i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
