she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
not ubering you a puppy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
