Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
