I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
