420 ftw
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize