so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
