my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
