i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
