I just cut my nipple shaving
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The power of my boobs compel you
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