It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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