who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
