my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
