Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
