btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
