a search helicopter?!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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