carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
