It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
