it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
