How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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